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This Fit Mom’s No Muscle

Wanna know what this Fit Mom has been up to lately? A lot. A full schedule and a lot of saying no. Just ask Annett :) I said no to her “Better Me Challenge.” Because right now being a better me required me using my no muscle. It was a great challenge with a lot of great ideas and wonderful encouragement. But it was one of at least 15 Opportunities/requests I had gotten over the last few months – I started counting because I was preparing to teach a workshop at a conference about saying no. All the requests were good things – from blogging requests, to school volunteering and fundraising requests, to speaking requests, to two different fitness challenges . . . NO!

In January and February when all these other requests/opportunities rolled in, I was already leading and team teaching Bible Study at my church on Wednesday mornings (and sometimes Wednesday nights) and hosting a weekly college/young adult life group at my house. And then there is always the everyday life stuff like THREE CHILDREN, a sweet husband, cooking, cleaning, exercising, nurturing my relationship with God, and squirrel watching. Being overscheduled and overcommitted leads to mama meltdowns which benefits no one so I had to say no to a lot of good things.

And despite all my no muscle usage, I still had one solid MBD (mental breakdown day) in there with all the stuff I had previously said yes to. I am a work in process.

So I am here to encourage you overcommitters of the world to feel free to say no. No one will hate you unless he/she is a jerk in which case, who cares? The world will continue to spin and life will go on even if you say no!

After you have evaluated your schedule and made sure your priorities are in line and you have room in your schedule then . . .

Here are five questions that can help you to decide if you should say yes to that opportunity:

1. Does it fit your personality?

2. Does it fit your passions?

3. Does it fit your giftings?

(Chapters in the Bible that talk about spiritual gifts – I Corinth. 12, Romans 12, Ephesians 4, I Peter 4)

4. What does the sane and spiritual person in your life say about it?

(In my world, that’s my husband.)

5. Is God calling you to it?

(If you don’t believe in God, you’ll have to make up your own #5 :))

And with that, I am signing off from being a writer for Fit Moms Fit Kids. While it fits my personality, passions, and giftings . . . right now it doesn’t fit into my schedule. I will be devoting more time to speaking (with more traveling) in addition to trying to keep up on my own blog. Please come visit me in the blogosphere or facebooksphere. And please check out my speaking schedule to see if I will be speaking in your area – maybe we can meet in real life and do some push-ups or something.

Thanks to Annett for allowing to take up space here and for her passion for Fit Moms and Fit Kids!

Wendy Hagen

Wendy Hagen, Author "Totally Desperate Mom: Keeping It Real In The Motherhood"

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Fit Marriage, Fit Mom

I think having a healthy marriage where two people actually like each other is important. Good for the Totally Desperate Mom. Good for the kids. Just all around good. * And yet, it can be pretty hard to make the marriage a priority when you have little ones running around finger painting with their own poop.
Excerpt from Totally Desperate Mom:
When you said “I do” to your husband there was no motherhood escape clause. You didn’t say, “I do until we have kids,” or, “I do until things get tough.” I don’t know what your specific vows were, but I suspect they included a lifetime commitment to love and support your husband. Many moms neglect that commitment and instead direct all of their energy, love, and support to their children. This is not healthy for the marriage or the children. And yet, it is pretty easy to do. As busy, sometimes exhausted moms, what can we do to continually make our marriage a priority? I talked with some of my fellow TDMs about this and we came up with the following tips. (Just offering one tip here on Fit Moms Fit Kids Club Today. Get the rest here.)

* Create common interests. I have read quite a few books on marriage and the drastic differences between men and women. One book I read was about how to affair-proof your marriage. While I enjoyed most of the book, there was one chapter that really turned me off –the chapter about recreational companionship. The chapter basically said that a husband and wife should participate in only those activities that both parties can enjoy together. Would my husband ever join me in scrapbooking, or would he ever give my hip-hop class a shot? Not a chance.  Do I ever want to learn to play chess or peruse the Internet for the latest technology advances? No thank you.

In spite of the fact that I didn’t agree with everything in this chapter, I applied its principles and joined my husband in watching a Formula One race. Does it get any more boring than watching cars go round and round a track? Yes, watching golf. But my husband doesn’t watch that. But because my husband spent so much time on the weekends watching those F1 races on television, I decided to suffer through watching an entire race with him. Guess what happened? I enjoyed it. He explained the nuances (yes, there are race car nuances) of the sport (yes, I now call Formula One racing a sport) to me, which made the race much more interesting.

Formula One racing has now become a major source of bonding for the entire family. Shiloh makes scones on race weekends, and we sit and watch the race together. Well, the kids get pumped for the scones and go in and out of watching the race. And I have been known to fold some laundry (it’s a long race), but we all enjoy the F1 race days.

To top things off, Shiloh and I even joined a “fantasy Formula One league” on the Internet where we pick our “A” drivers, “B” drivers, and teams every race week. After reading that, I know some of you may now be tempted to shred this book, but before you do you must know two things. First, I won the Fantasy League this year. The prize was nothing. My team name was “Moms for Massa.” (Massa was one of the drivers for Ferrari®.) And second, joining my husband in this activity has been awesome for our marriage.


So there you have it Fit Moms. Are you willing to check out something that your husband is interested in even if you think it is really lame? Remember, this is not a lifelong commitment (the marriage is, just not his boring activity), but give it a chance and see what happens. And then let me know!

*If you are a single mom – feel my hug come through the screen and come back for my non-marriage post next month. Or take note for that future marriage . . .

Wendy Hagen

Wendy Hagen, Author "Totally Desperate Mom: Keeping It Real In The Motherhood"

Posted in News, Totally Desperate Moms3 Comments

Sugar-Free Banana Bread, It Ain’t Hot Chocolate

I survived my 2 months of sugar-free living. Maybe next month I will blog more about that. But in the meantime, I have a Sugar-Free Banana Bread recipe for you that I found and made several times during my sugarless life. I adapted it from this recipe at It has the same consistency and texture as banana bread, but not as sweet. If I were not doing the sugar-free thing I don’t know how much I would have liked it, but for a sugar free item, it is pretty good. And my son loved it.If you are trying to cut out or reduce refined sugar in your life, give this a whirl.

Sugar-Free Banana Bread

2 cups whole wheat flour or white flour

2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp cinnamon
4 medium, ripe bananas
1/2 cup apple sauce
1 egg
1/3 cup vegetable oil
1/2 cup unsweetened orange juice
You can add some other junk like nuts, cranberries or raisins, but I am not into those so I don’t. If you are not on a specific sugar-free thing you can add chocolate chips because those make everything taste better.

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees
2. Combine flour, oats, baking soda, baking powder, cinnamon in a bowl.
3. Blend the bananas in some sort of kitchen gadget that can puree them.
(I used my blender. Don’t be deceived by the fact that it looks like a nice, fancy, blender. It does not work well and I don’t recommend it at all.)
4. Combine pureed bananas, apple sauce, egg, vegetable oil and OJ in another bowl.
5. Add the junk from bowl #1 to the junk in bowl #2 and mix.
4. Pour all the junk into a greased loaf pan.
5. Bake for 40-50 minutes.
6. Cool on wire rack.
I added butter even though I’m a Fit Mom. And I feel totally okay with it.
Wendy Hagen

Wendy Hagen, Author "Totally Desperate Mom: Keeping It Real In The Motherhood"

Posted in Totally Desperate Moms2 Comments

I Miss Sugar, But My Stomach is Pretty Flat

As I write this it has been exactly one month since my husband and I got on the crazy train. You know the one that doesn’t have sugar on it until Thanksgiving? With the exception of one treat every 2 weeks?

I wanted to update you on our insanity progress. The desire or craving for sugar is still there. However, it does not have the hold on me that it did before we started this adventure. And that’s cool because that was kind of the point. I had gotten too far off moderation and needed a little cleanse. Because sugar is just not good for you.  And it’s not just about adding to my cellulite collection. It’s about overall health – there is so much disease, autoimmune, cancers, and other dumb things out there. I know there are genetic and environmental factors at play, but I also think what we put into our bodies is a major contributing factor.

My first treat day (two weeks in) I decided to allow myself two treats instead of one because well . . . I wanted to even though my husband was not supportive of my endeavor. I had an 8 ounce hot chocolate and one chubby hubby bar. It was glorious and I felt great afterwards. For real. Two weeks later my treat was hot chocolate. Because I love it. We originally said that we would not have any natural sugars like honey or maple sugar, but we decided to chuck that out the window. So a few times we had sugar-free breakfast foods with maple syrup and I think my husband had some honey in his oatmeal.

The results?
1. My stomach is a lot flatter. Less bloated. Definitely lost some of my spare tire.
2. I have lost 2 or 3 pounds. (I didn’t weigh myself until a week into and I just don’t track my weight that much. I go more with how I feel and fit into my clothes.)
3. My sugar craving has subsided, but it is not gone.
4. I can’t wait for Thanksgiving time, but I plan on going back to moderation (2-3 treats a week) and I think this mini-cleanse has helped.

For those of you decided to join me in this endeavor in some way . . . how are you doing?
Wendy Hagen

Wendy Hagen, Author "Totally Desperate Mom: Keeping It Real In The Motherhood"

For more of Wendy check out her awesome blog here. She has a great book, and you can check out her speaking schedule there too!

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