Twenty to thirty pounds. That’s what they say. Three hundred extra calories per day. That’s what they say. The weight will just melt off, especially if you are breastfeeding. That’s what they say. When I find them, I will show them forty pounds and a stash of bean burritos. Seven-hundred-and-forty calories and twenty-grams of fat each. And that’s just my pregnant lady midnight snack. I’ve tried lighting my “muffin top” (that special roll of fat that hangs over your non-mom jeans, creating that muffin-like appearance around what’s left of your waist) on fire while nursing, and even then the weight does not melt off.
Okay, this chapter is not about weight gain or weight loss, but . . . popping out a kid sure does a number on mom’s bod. Mothering little ones is physically exhausting. The sleep deprivation, the eating what you can when you can (usually while standing), the hip holding while house cleaning, the stroller pushing and folding, the back breaking baby Bjorn/slings, and the car seat carrying.
That was an excerpt from my book Totally Desperate Mom: Keepin’ it Real in the Motherhood. Here’s a little more from Chapter 11: Taking Care of Mom Physically.
The importance of good nutrition is nothing new. Back in 400 BC Hippocrates said, “Let food be your medicine and medicine be your food.” But I imagine that in 400 BC food wasn’t so processed and artificial and there were no drive-thrus. That being said, not all modern-day food should be your medicine. This topic is vast and most of us probably know what we should be putting into our bodies. Eating healthy takes time and money; most people don’t have an abundance of either one. Do the best you can with what you have. I am an expert on nothing, but here are ten simple ways you can improve your eating habits—in mom-sized bites:
1. Eat breakfast. It gets your metabolism started and refuels your body from that long night of sleep. If you are in a hurry, grab some fruit and a handful of almonds or walnuts.
2. Eat more fruits and vegetables. Even if it is a small amount, try and eat a veggie at lunch and dinner. “Green smoothies” are a great and easy way to increase your fruit and veggie intake. You can make a regular fruit smoothie and add a green, leafy vegetable to it (spinach, kale, chard).
Here is a sample recipe of a smoothie I like to make:
2 cups rice milk (you can use fruit juice instead, like pineapple coconut juice, but it adds a lot more sugar)
2 cups of greens (add more or less depending on what your palate can handle)
1 1⁄2 cups frozen strawberries and 1 1⁄2 cups frozen blueberries
Blend the liquid and greens first to get the greens as pureed as possible. Then add the other ingredients and blend. If you want it to be a little sweeter, add a few teaspoons of maple syrup. This makes about 4 cups.
*That smoothie will also give you the bowel movement that you have always hoped for. You know, the kind Dr. Oz talks about Go make one! A smoothie, not a bowel movement. Get your mind out of the toilet. You must have young children.
For the other 8 tips you’ll have to pay me 1 Million dollars, or for a lot cheaper you can just Click here for your copy!